I'd put good money on the people who created this not having worked in a typical office in some years. Or, like the "creatives" on the floor above us in one of my previous workplaces, have spent their time lounging on beanbags, playing ping-pong and setting the fire alarms off because they don't know how to use a toaster.
Let's take their points one by one...
Hearing an alarm
Nope, haven't missed that. Having ditched the Today programme after more than 40 years, I wake up in a far better mood. And you know what? I'm never late for work - I now wake up naturally at the right time.
Putting on a tie
Pah! Ties are a 19/20th century anachronism which should have been ditched years ago. If open necks and rolled-up shirt sleeves are good enough for the G8, they're good enough for an office in Slough. As with school uniform, they're all about petty control and damping down individuality.
Carrying a handbag
There you go again with your gender stereotypes. Hate handbags, always have done. Although my backpack's looking a little unloved of late, give me something practical.
Receptionists
Ours are lovely, but I don't go to work because of them...
Caffeine-filled air
Fine if you like the smell of coffee, I suppose... my partner, who dislikes the smell of coffee used to find his office unbearable at times. And does caffeine even have a small?
Taking a lift
The stairs at home are better for you.
Seeing your second family
Second family?! Who makes this s**t up? I mean, I like my colleagues but if you think of them in this way you probably need to seek help. Just because we used to see more of them than our own families due to Britain's long hours culture, doesn't mean they actually are family.
Watercooler conversations
We're in sitcom territory here, aren't we? I mean, do you know anyone in real life who stands around the big bottle of water chatting about last night's TV (especially now that we don't all watch the same few channels live). I'm usually a good 6 months-10 years behind the viewing public...
Proper bants
Anyone using "bants" should be fired immediately.
The boss's jokes
...can still be heard via Zoom, if that's your thing.
Plastic plants
Or a summer of home-grown potatoes, courgettes, raspberries, blackcurrants and apples...
Office gossip
Probably sour grapes as I'm the world's worst for picking up gossip, but not sure spreading rumours and sniggering about colleagues is really what we go to work for (unless you work at Labour HQ, I suppose).
Those weird carpets
Do you spend your day staring at the furnishings?! You need a better job.
Face to Face meetings
As we've discovered, in all but a few cases we don't need them. And as someone whose working life used to revolve around trying to arrange meetings for busy people, trying to get them all in the same place at one time, my (and their) lives have been made immeasurably easier through the use of virtual meetings. Of course without face to face meetings there's little justification for spending all that money on HS2 to cut 20 mins off journey times to London...
Not having to make lunch
Actually, mate, I now stop and have lunch (something I was very bad at in the office). Not an over-chilled, over-priced sandwich, either. Proper food instead of the bag of crisps I was likely to snaffle on the go. Better all round.
cc-ing, bcc-ing
These things can be done from any computer, anywhere in the world. Amazing, isn't it?
Accidentally Replying All
Ditto. But not recommended in any setting.
Hearing buzzwords
See "bants" above. Home working offers some level of protection from both.
Leaving early for a cheeky afternoon in the sun.
So much to unravel here -
If you can leave early for no reason without it affect you or your colleagues, you probably don't have enough to do. Your boss needs to take a look at that.
A "cheeky" afternoon in the sun (in the UK. In September?) sounds like skiving to me.
Millions of us have been working flat out - from home - since March. I probably have more additional hours built up than the PM has put in to COBRA meetings since the start of the pandemic. We didn't "leave early" for any reason, because there was a load of work to be done (that's what happens when you're in care sector). Making sense of the government guidance that changed overnight; trying to source enough PPE; making provision for keeping staff safe while still providing vital services; our teachers providing virtual lessons and pastoral care to our students. We haven't been at home doing nothing - we've been working as usual. Nothing changed but the location. So I'm getting a bit fed up with the presumption that we haven't been doing anything for 6 months. I mean, who's had the time to make sourdough?
I love my work and I have brilliant colleagues, but home working has been really beneficial to my wellbeing. There is only one thing I really miss about being away from the office, and that can't be replicated at home - the wonderful young people from our training kitchen coming round with the trolley; they make the best scones and cakes!
Yes, there are people who need to get back to a workplace because of their home circumstances, and they should have priority. If we're going to reduce emissions, we need to cut down on commuting. Employers are seeing benefits, too, so HM Govt may find that the ship has already sailed. There are already reports of local independent retailers and food outlets experiencing increased activity in the suburban localities where people live - if the big sandwich chains don't want to fold, they need to invest in some bikes and go out and look for custom, just like Norman Tebbitt told us all to do in the 80s.The world of work has moved on.
To be honest, when I first saw this ad I assumed it was a passive-aggressive GOV.UK thing rather than an advert from a commercial company. I think that says quite a bit about the state of HM Govt these days.
Here's an alternative view:
Having time for breakfast. Not having a commute that can take anything from 20-70 minutes for a 5 mile journey. Having a proper window with light and ventilation. Not falling asleep in your armchair at 9pm. The prospect of seeing daylight during the week in the winter months. Being able to make a "cheeky" trip to an appointment for a young person with a disability, knowing you can just make the time up later on. Keeping up to date with colleagues via online meetings (and getting to know them better than you did when you were at work with them all the time).
I've always preferred Savlon anyway.
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